15 Action-packed Scenes from Katy Perry’s New Perfume Ad!
Katy Perry made another fragrance! Royal Revolution comes in a blue tinted bottle shaped like a gem. It is said to have top notes of red pomegranate and pink freesia. But the video doesn’t have any fruit or flowers in it. Instead, Perry has created an animated video with a medieval theme starring a mysterious woman warrior, damsels in distress, human cloning, butt-kicking action, an evil king, and a cute kitten! The “Dark Horse” heroine has chosen a creative way to advertise not only her sweet scents, but also her adventurous spirit. Check out these scenes from the heart-racing, swashbuckling, product-endorsing ad!
The first shot we have is the title of the perfume with what looks like a Zorro version of Katy Perry next to a knight in iron armor. Check out those long and slender killer legs! I wonder which graphic designer lent their fashion sketches for this ad? I’m getting fashion editorial vibes here. Killer Queen’s Royal Revolution sounds like a pretty intense party. Maybe Perry is trying to revolutionize the world of perfume with cartoons and action movies.
Next shot is a soldier impaling a poster of the evil emperor’s order on a poor unsuspecting tree. This was like the email of the dark ages. The order reads, “Give us your first born daughter.” Things just got real! Now everyone has to round up their daughters on the farm or whatever watering hole they may be gathered around so that the emperor can fulfill his lifelong dream of having a million wives. Just like Mormons!
The first born daughters are rounded up, shackled, and crammed into the medieval station wagon. They all have tears of agony, distressed faces, and dazzling shades of lipstick. Clutching the bars, they pray for an Amazon goddess in a leopard print bra to save them from an evil emperor who didn’t even take the time to get to know them for their winning personalities. Hey, these girls almost look like Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift, and… Victoria Beckham?!
Our heroine approahces! The lady in disguise ain’t got time for this kidnapping business and rips the poster and dagger off the tree. But she knows you can’t win a war with just some cool gold initials stitched into your back and a black face mask/plastic bag that you found drifting through the wind, wanting to start again. The dagger will do just fine. A tree is saved.
The soldiers bring the girls to the evil castle. “Zorro Perry” leaps onto the castle walls and takes a fencing sword out of her hilt. Okay, that is the fanciest scabbad ever created. It’s covered in white flowers and may as well be her clutch where she keeps all of her top secret weapons. This will probably soon be available at a shopping mall near you bundled with her perfume, Prism CD, and miniature whipped cream bra bazookas.
Perry drops down, ready to slay these guys. But wait, there’s a lot of them. There’s at least five. The look on her face says it all. “I guess they didn’t like my Birthday video.” The soldiers cry out, “We believed in you! And all you gave us was old people getting lap dances and 5-year-old girls faking their surprise when all of the set crew and cameras gave it away! We want the old Katy Perry back!”
They take her to the evil emperor. He shouts, “You never should have done that Japanese geisha thing at the American Music Awards! What were you thinking? You claw your way to the top of the charts with a cute song like ‘Roar’ and then this happens? Like seriously, it had nothing whatsoever to do with the lyrics to your song ‘Unconditionally.'” The emperor is also rocking a hipster beard. It’s the latest trend.
“Well at least I got this sexy perm,” says Perry. Or is it really Katy Perry? The mysterious masked woman pulls off her mask to reveal someone with big blue doll-like eyes, long hair, and a smile that says, “I kissed a girl and I liked it.” Okay…maybe it obviously was Katy Perry all along. Be afraid, peasants! The Killer Queen takes no prisoners as she sets her sights on her next victim!
The king ain’t having that mess and whisks her away to the cloning chamber. This must be where all popstars go to die and become born again as gothic cocktail waitresses in a shady downtown bar. Glowing orbs sent by the corporate headquarters of the music industry zap all of the originality out of the young aspiring singers and they dream of a world without Autotune.
Zorro Perry pulls out her dark horse: a perfume bottle of Royal Revolution which isn’t really dark or a horse. “So you wanna play with magic?” she asks the soldiers who seem to stand there while she pulls this perfume out of her purse and sprays herself like a woman in need of some good eau de toilette. Ah, the smell of crushed souls and pomegranate. That’s it, boys, you’ve sealed your fate.
They never saw it coming. The dagger from before finally gets put to good use. The most amazing part of this is seeing how modestly Perry is dressed. Bravo! You don’t need to show skin when you’re kicking butt and selling your scent. She’s got the eye of the tiger and you’re going to hear her roar while she’s dressed in leggings, a matronly black skirt, and a blazing blue blazer.
Perry kicks one of the soldiers into the cloning chamber and something interesting happens. He finds his inner femininity just screaming to come out. Baby, you’re a firework so just let your colors burst! This is the true revolution! This could be the most political move of Perry’s career. Why says you can’t be a soldier, gothic cocktail waitress, and grow a mustache? Katy Perry for president of the world, please.
Be careful Katy, they’ve got long pointy objects and you’ve got no armor. Who came up with this dangerous escape plan? Grab that rope and hold on for dear life. The helicopter should arrive at any moment. Oh wait, this was set in medieval times. On the other hand, those stilettos weren’t even invented until the 1940s so this history seems to have no sense of continuity. Rock those heels, though!
The helicopter didn’t show up. You’ve lost your plastic bag. There’s no whipped cream to be found. Your record company wants you to record another album before you’ve even finished touring for Prism. Meanwhile, the evil emperor is predicting his future in a crystal ball. He can’t keep kidnapping young girls forever. It’s time to think about opening up frozen yogurt shops. Perry tests the strength of her perfume bottle by smashing it into the crystal ball.
The day is saved! The evil emperor turns into a kitten. If you name him Kitty Perry, that would be taking it too far, Katy. The maidens transform back into their normal selves. Families are reunited. The Killer Queen takes her rightful place on the throne. But there’s still time at the end of this expensive-looking commercial for one last spritz of the perfume. Bow down to the queen!